Things my Facebook Status might say

Ok, now for the things that my Facebook Status could really say:

I spent a good part of the day being verbally abused by my 13 year old. Do you know what it feels like to be repeatedly struck in the head with a hammer?

F*** You!

I hate all the fake positivity you people spew out!

I have severe depression, anxiety, a tic disorder, and OCD! Yay!

I’m 40 pounds overweight and don’t have the willpower or motivation to lose it.

I’m still breaking out like a teenager! So much fun!

I take tons of medication.

I enjoy my time alone and wish I could be alone all the time.

The "Bell Jar" makes me happy.

I’m not addicted to running, I’m addicted to Dr. Pepper and food you skinny whores!

I talk back to the facebook statuses I hate. “Snuggling with your kids? Perfect!”

I am a complete cynic and almost always pessimistic.

I hate social situations and would rather stay alone in my house.

I like inappropriate movies!

I’m in love with a movie star.

I feel like crap everyday!

I’m totally pretending that we aren’t broke, in debt, and pretty much unemployed.

I do most things in my life because I have to, not because I want to.

I love Beavis and Butthead.

I am totally unsatisfied!

I can’t remember the last time my husband gave me flowers. Happy Anniversary to me!

I’m a sucky mom.

I’m completely sick of doing what i’m supposed to do and I want to do something fun.

I’m such a crappy wife I have taught my husband to ignore all my needs and wants.

I haven’t earned any respect from my kids!

Life. What’s the point?

I totally wear a social mask!

If I said what I really wanted to, I would have no friends.

I love xanax!

I love watching clips of Pineapple Express. It’s so funny!

I want to run away.

Good bye suckers!

There you go, love it or leave it.